Okay. Hi. Supposed to do SS powerpoint now. It's 8.30pm, and I still have E Maths and English compre. Warning, this might be an emotional rant, tho I rarely, or even never do that on my blog. For whatever reasons, doesn't really matter.
Well anyway. I mean, life's good. Considering I'm not starving, not living on the streets, not living in a place where volcanoes and earthquakes might take our lives any moment (need to do compre about Pompeii later). And besides common tests, there's no other tests I have to worry and fret about coming up soon.
It sucks, being in Sec 3. And it'll be even worse in Sec 4. I remember in Sec 2 after school I'll go out for lunch, released at 1.40pm, had Art lessons, Home Econs, and all these that I am able to look forward to. I have nothing to anticipate now. I don't like Maths and Science, solely just because it's boring and I don't get a single thing they're teaching. I don't know how to apply and all. But might be staying back with Andy to get him to teach me Maths. And homework sucks. And so does tests and exams. Which reminds me, I have A Maths retest next week on Tuesday :/. Wish me luck.
Okay back to the real whole reason why I'm writing this. Actually I don't even really want to reveal too much. Let's just say... I have this close friend, let's call that person A. We get along pretty well. Used to hang out all the time together. Now we only get to see each other for less than 5 minutes on average each day after the June holidays. Okay, let's not say, get to see. It sounds like we make an effort to find a time to meet up. Cause we don't. And that's what makes matters even worse. It's just oh A walks by my class. Smile smile a bit. And that's it. Maybe if I'm lucky, one or two times during recess before A goes off for class. (Different class some more, even worser situation). None during lunch. None after school. And whenever we SMS, sometimes I get kinda annoyed because of everything I've been missing out about A, and then I show it, and the conversation stops? Which makes me even more upset. I mean it's not A's fault. I'm not blaming A. I just wished things would be like before. You know, without me getting so annoyed even though I'm not supposed to be. I don't know, it's just upsetting to get so close to someone, so close that you expect them to be with you all the time cause you're use to their presence, till one day everything changes. You're not as close to the person like you used to. People have better things to do and to get stuck with me, right? Nowadays I just look outside of the class to see if A would miracously appear. I see A's classmate coming to my class, and this small part of me says oh maybe A's not released yet. This has been going on for days and A never turns up :/. Giving up soon. Hopeless to keep wishing :/. You know, A was the one I went to with all my problems but this time I can't talk to A about this, and I don't know what situation we're in right now. It sucks.
And something that's been bothering me for.. a long time now. I mean, I'm not affected by it as much as I was before it started because I know it's not true. It's just today that particular person who made it all happened, was talking to me and another friend, and that friend said something related to that, and that particular person said oh I caused it. I didn't know what to respond to it lol. And I saw something related to that issue today in someone's book I was reading through today.
Okay stupid ranting and abrupt ending, I need to do my SS powerpoint and my English now.
"And I'm dying to know if it's killing you like it's killing me."
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